Merry Christmas

Dream

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3SlsP130xY

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

bits of dust

so in the light i seem to bend and curve
missing the bits of dust just above my head
breaking down the jealous place in the middle of the night
i am wishing that my face looked just right

If i try not to think and try not to dream
when i wake up early in the morning
will i feel you there by the rays of sun
making the dust shine just above my head

Short sided against the cast of the day
seeing the beauty but never knowing their way
so if i eat and say thanks
will i be able to see you in that space of my momentary glance

if there is only room for one in this lowly place
and the melody of creation only comes to one with a certain face
will I always be able to feel
the spray of dust that shines just above my head

i never imagined it so hard to go to bed
wanting only to feel the happiness instead
so if blackbirds are singing this sad tune
will you be the light in the bits of dust beside the moon

Praise Thee O God

though the poor woe and the rich sing
emptiness repetition is all it seems
diction and space is what we both face
in the midst of war and greed and holy life

rich green grass and crumbled smelly cash
both rock the senses of my heart
both stained with the blood of our neighbor
lying in wait for the justice of the savior

bending backwards to take a picture
trying to relate to the dwarf and the scenery all at once
will this life i lead be worth what pours out in colors of yellow and blue
why can't i see

bolded by love, tainted by misconception, and too stupid to repent
earth, rocks, and birds all turn to say, "when will i see the color yellow turned into blue"
pop culture, sub culture, ethnicity- vomit out in streams of red
below the computer underneath the desk, red with blood of those i can't be

honestly i want to praise You
repent to be with You
honestly i want to shed my skin
and feel the sting of rain once again, once again.......

more really cool pics of mom!

My Cool MOM!

The ancient before, i plead to recognize
the assembly of holy resolute, favorable victory in His boastful name
Turn your song to me...to me
Bend low to consider my disconsolate

with surroundings torn in modern demise
foes rejoice, beneath the children lie
Lord who can consider your name when we are traveling so painfully blind
Ancient fathers of wisdom...truth
I long to touch the spike of burning decrees that bare the burden of understanding.
repentance draw near before my death, before the substance is near bring repentance

Do Not be wise in your own eyes
Fear the Lord and depart from evil
It will be health to your flesh and strength
to your bones

Summer!!!!

Seven

So the husband and I have been married for seven years.....
No itch yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Anniversary Love

Arms Wide Open

The sad existence of always being out of the mind to be able to surrender. This place is the most fearful and captivating place I know. There are so many and so much who crash into me with such force that my arms clasp under the pressure of their motivated intent. They come on every plain and form to close my arms and replace my surrender with broken glass and the bitter taste of my own blood on my tongue We all seem to forget God.....to forget His Christ.......
I am so tired of opening my arms wide open, only allowing the existence of everything that hates him to leave me bitter and alone. They can take all but in the end I hope that they cannot take this desire to open my arms in surrender. I love Christ...bad, bitter, broken. I love Christ....spiteful, hateful, with revenge.....I love Christ....i hate you, i hate you, i hate.......I love Christ....despised love, worse than before, uncompassionate.......I love Christ-
Please Lord help me to believe and surrender my life over and over again to you. Though people make fun of me and I am not cool enough to be able to stand within their useless conversation. I pray that you will always help me to go the place of unyeilded meekness and humble hands.

new pics

I'll be your guide for all time

Intricate engine angels might admire,
Material spirit, animated earth,
Crafted casket for celestial fire,
Doomed to die the day it has its birth.
Hands that open, befitting a gracious lord,
Able to touch a cheek as soft as mist,
To wield a pen, a brush, a harpsichord,
But just as apt to freeze into a fist.
Godlike image, able to stand erect,
Yet by what small and simple things laid low
A sneeze, a scratch, a germ, and all is wrecked;
A few short years, the time has come to go.
Delicate instrument of love, or lust,
Admirably compacted... out of dust.
DTW

Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ.
-Bible-