Let No One Cheat You

Colossians 2:

18 Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not[a] seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,

3:1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. 8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,

How hard is it to understand. I am not of this earth. That is why i cannot last in self perfection. That is why my heart hangs low when I realize I cannot grasp the unity of the cross with the relationship of my life. The lose within my heart is deep and still. The death of the union bares pain of waste, that words cannot heal. The language of my heart is simply unable to be understood. I cannot convey how much I feel, how much I am losing, not being together with him. Day after day the sadness fills the void that is there. I cannot remove it, it is mine to bare. I scream and kick at the wind of experience. "Not Mine!"

I understand that I am on a time limit, I understand that there is a cheat in the midst of the race.

I turn daily and look at joy and christian faith in the face. I explode with desire to be right in the face of struggle. There is no pain like the pain of rejection. The rejection of a lost love and a missed page in the turning of time.

I love Jesus. So loud that I can't breathe. I love Him and i miss Him so much. I miss His soft hand and His whisper in my ear. My life is set, there is no turning from this trial. The more I live on this earth, with all it has, the luxuries of electric and technology, the more I want to cut myself in order to release the blood that it feeds upon within me. The life of falsehood that pumps within my veins. I open the flesh and watch it bleed....bleed......until it or I die.

I am not myself, I am a slave to a Master that I love. Everything He has I want. Everything He tells me I believe, like a sheep I follow. With yoke and blood I desire more of His burden on my neck. Drive it deep and make the metal perice my flesh, release the water from my empty heart and touch the metal to form Your blood. Make me into a image that is scoffed and ignored. May the cheat hold his belly in laughter as I appear weak and consumed with untruth. Let him throw stones or rejection and betrayal as I walk across his path day and night. Let the cheat make me feel lost, broken and uncool. Let his power throw me to the ground. Let his strength self destruct the self within me. When the smoke clears in the quiet moment of clarity, I will desire the Master. For I was bought by His plan. I am woven and spun in such a way that appears loose and tattered but gold and beauty are within the seams. This Chain that is part of my flesh is the best burden of all the burdens that exist within this world.